Dating Conversation

The conversation that takes place on a date makes or breaks the date. Everybody knows that infamous 'awkward silence', and the way it ruins dates. Similarly, great conversation makes for a great date.

Less is More

Ironically, the trick to seeming like a great conversationalist is not to talk a lot. The opposite is the case. The trick to seeming like a great conversationalist is listening, not talking. That is because people like to talk about themselves. If you incessantly talk about yourself and your interests, you will bore your date. In contrast, if you incite your date to do most of the talking, the date will happily talk about his/herself and his/her interests.

Ask Questions

You can get your date talking and keep your date talking by using questions. Questions are the key to keeping a conversation going, and thus coming off as a great conversationalist.

At first, you can use general questions to get the conversation started. General questions are questions that apply to almost anyone, and are appropriate at almost any time. For example, a general question could be any of the following:

"How are you?"
"What did you do today?"
"What type of music do you like?"

To keep the conversation going, and make it more interesting, use follow-up questions. Follow-up questions will not only keep the conversation going, but will also show your date that you were listening. Follow-up questions are questions about what your date just said. For example, if your date just told you a story about his/her job, you could ask the date how he/she got that job or how he/she liked it. In another example, if your date just referenced his/her sibling, you can ask the sibling's name and age, or ask how close your date is with their sibling.

Common Topics

You should allow the conversation to flow on its own. Nonetheless, if it slows down or if it has not yet started, then you can move the conversation to a common topic. Common topics include any topic with which most people are familiar, such as current events (not politics!) or the weather.

The Comedian Trick

Stand-up comedians have a trick they use to make funny jokes that appear improvisational when talking to the crowd. The comedian will ask a member of the audience a question, such as, "where are you from?" The trick is that the comedian has a joke set-up for almost any possible answer. (If the comedian does not have a joke about that particular answer, the comedian just asks follow-up questions until the comedian gets a joke-ready answer.)

You can use the comedian trick not just for jokes, but for general conversation. For example, if you know a lot about dogs, cats, and birds. You could ask your date if they have any pets. When they answer what pet they have, you can talk to them about that particular answer. By doing this, it will appear as though you are just great at conversing about anything.

The trick here is to have knowledge and anecdotes about a subject and then subtly steer the conversation in that direction. This does not mean that you just talk about what you want. It means you play off your date to make it appear as though the date is choosing the topic. In reality, the date is just choosing a sub-category of a broad topic that you chose.

Go Out And Start Conversation

Use the above tips to create thriving conversation on your dates. Remember, the more your date talks, the better. You only need to talk enough to incite your date to talk more.