Staying “in love” forever is a grand ambition. But it’s one that many americans have come to expect from their spouses or loved ones. They often expect to be the central object of adolation in their significant other’s lives, and when not paid proper attention to, the relationships often go sour or even end. In this trying economic time, many relationships only need one wrong spark to spur on a quick and unsightly end to what was once a long and loving relationship.

Love can’t be forced. People cannot be forced to love someone else. Lying and confusing people with a false persona is almost certainly destined to end in a bad way. Often the other person will feel upset when they discover their mate is not the person they married, or on the other side of things, many daters end up actually impersonating someone they are not, feeling that is the only way to win over their love. In the end, they might grow weary of the constant falsehoods and unending effort required to be someone that they simply are not. Being straightforward and honest, has two ultimately positive outcomes. It either gives the partner a chance to love the true qualities of the person they are with. Or it leads to them breaking it off. Yet this can often save years of pain and regret down the road. It’s important to find someone who loves the qualities of their mate, not of the fake person they pretended to be.

Above all, long lasting romances are more than romance. In truth, only friendship lasts forever, the sexual aspects of a relationship are merely a bonus. Think of the qualities that have made best friends stay together. Ideally, a long term romance is simply a best friendship between two people who are also physically attracted to each other. The problem is today, dating is no longer about the friendship aspect. If they find themselves making out all of the time, even during a movie they were looking forward to, so much so that they have no idea what the plot was about, there may be a problem.

Best friends do things together. They watch movies together, they go have fun together. If a romance has destroyed all of the friendship aspects and turned into merely a chemical attraction, it cannot last forever. Human bodies simply get used to the hormones if they are constantly surrounded by them, and the mystery and intrigue  of the chemicals wears off. At that point, friendship is what helps reignite the fire and keep the relationship lasting. If the relationship with that person has the romance aspects taken out, is being long term friends with the person desirable? Do they share the same interests, goals, and characteristics expected of any good friend? If not, there is a serious problem.