Matchmaking Service

The conversation that takes place on a date makes or breaks the date. Everybody knows that infamous ‘awkward silence’, and the way it ruins dates. Similarly, great conversation makes for a great date.

Less is More

Ironically, the trick to seeming like a great conversationalist may seem like being a “smooth talker”. The opposite is the case. The trick to seeming like a great conversationalist is listening, not talking. That is because people like to talk about themselves. If you incessantly talk about yourself and your interests, you will bore your date. In contrast, if you incite your date to do most of the talking, the date will happily talk about his/herself and his/her interests.

Ask Questions

You can get your date talking and keep your date talking by using questions. Questions are the key to keeping a conversation going, and thus coming off as a great conversationalist.

At first, you can use general questions to get the conversation started. General questions are questions that apply to almost anyone, and are appropriate at almost any time. For example, a general question could be any of the following:

“How are you?”
“What did you do today?”
“What type of music do you like?”

To keep the conversation going, and make it more interesting, use follow-up questions. Follow-up questions will not only keep the conversation going, but will also show your date that you were listening. Follow-up questions are questions about what your date just said. For example, if your date just told you a story about his/her job, you could ask the date how he/she got that job or how he/she liked it. In another example, if your date just referenced his/her sibling, you can ask the sibling’s name and age, or ask how close your date is with their sibling.

Common Topics

You should allow the conversation to flow on its own. Nonetheless, if it slows down or if it has not yet started, then you can move the conversation to a common topic. Common topics include any topic with which most people are familiar, such as current events (not politics!) or the weather.

The Comedian Trick

Stand-up comedians have a trick they use to make funny jokes that appear improvisational when talking to the crowd. The comedian will ask a member of the audience a question, such as, “where are you from?” The trick is that the comedian has a joke set-up for almost any possible answer. (If the comedian does not have a joke about that particular answer, the comedian just asks follow-up questions until the comedian gets a joke-ready answer.)

You can use the comedian trick not just for jokes, but for general conversation. For example, if you know a lot about dogs, cats, and birds. You could ask your date if they have any pets. When they answer what pet they have, you can talk to them about that particular answer. By doing this, it will appear as though you are just great at conversing about anything.

The trick here is to have knowledge and anecdotes about a subject and then subtly steer the conversation in that direction. This does not mean that you just talk about what you want. It means you play off your date to make it appear as though the date is choosing the topic. In reality, the date is just choosing a sub-category of a broad topic that you chose.

Go Out and Start a Conversation

Use the above tips to create thriving conversations on your dates. Remember, the more your date talks, the better. You only need to talk enough to incite your date to talk more.

Many times, dating can be like real estate: location, location, location! The value of a house depends more on the house’s neighborhood than the house itself. Similarly, a date can only be as good as the setting. Unfortunately, there is no ‘one-size fits all’ date location or activity. When choosing the location of the date you must consider the specifics, such as your dates interests and how long you two have known each other.

No Experimenting On Early Dates

For a couple that has been together for a while, it can be fun to experiment with new places, such as a just-opened Indian-food restaurant. This is because a long-term couple will have already gone out on many dates to usual places. New and unknown places keep the dates interesting.

While daters are still getting to know each other, however, it works in the opposite way. New daters cannot afford to risk having a bad experience. While the risk makes the date interesting for a long-term couple, that same risk threatens the chances of even having another date for a new couple.

For example, imagine going to a new restaurant and finding out the service is terrible. What if the waiter spilled a drink all over your date?! A long-term couple may just laugh this off. However, if this is your first date, your date will probably be upset and want to go home.

Avoid The Classics

The old dinner-and-a-movie type of dates are over-done and boring. If you suggest this you may seem unoriginal and lazy to your date. This is especially important and true for early dates or first dates. What you want to do is think of a location and activity that is creative and original. You have to think of something interesting to do, so that your date will be interested in the date long enough to find out how interesting you yourself are.

Choose Your Dates Interests

When thinking of somewhere to go, you should consider what your date likes doing. Obviously, it will go better if your date enjoys the activity you are doing. If it consists of activities and locations that bore your date, then your date will transfer those feelings of disinterest onto you. In other words, if the location or activity is boring to your date, then your date will think you are boring.

You do not have to choose something your date specifically told you that he or she likes. Rather, you can choose an offshoot of something he or she likes. In fact, it is better to choose something that your date did not specifically tell you, because you will look more creative. For example, if you know your date is a Jet Li fan, then you could suggest going on a date to a martial arts class. Or, if you know your date likes to watch movies, you could suggest going on a date to a movie studio.

Location, Location, Location

Use the above tips to choose a great location and activity for your date. Pay attention to how your date reacts to the activity and location. Do not just listen to what your date says; make sure to read body language as well. If your date seems bored or uninterested, stop what you are doing earlier and either move the date to a new location and start a new activity, or end the date early. Remember, it is better to end the date early and go on another date another time than it is to keep going with a bad date and ruin the chances of another. Good luck!

With so many great services to choose from, how do you know which service is right for you?

First, all dating services were not created equal! Some matchmaking services have intense screening processes, others have great members, or simply different target audiences. For instance, Lavalife says they targets younger, “more hip”, audiences, while Yahoo Personals has an almost balanced ratio of women and men. Generally, you can definitely find people of all walks of life in nearly every internet dating service. By recent estimates, nearly one in four online americans are using an internet dating service. That means it’s not just for the tech-savvy anymore. Even now, specialty sites such as Friend Finder have a section for seniors, christians, hispanics, and asians, while other sites offer LDS dating, Jewish dating, and more. As a tip, for the main dating services, carefully consider what your target audience your date would fit into, by age, culture, religion, or even hobby.

Next, there is features. Some matchmaking services focus on simplicity like Date .com, while other dating sites like Yahoo Personals offer video introductions you can put on your profile to help break the ice. Many dating services offer chat rooms, while Yahoo also has a distinct advantage in that it already has a world famous Yahoo Messenger chat system, which they have smartly integrated into their dating service to allow (if you choose) your potential dates to message you on Yahoo Messenger. Others, such as Date even offer an optional horoscope based matching service aside from their regular dating services.

Another thing to consider is security. Many matchmaking services offer screening services for criminals, such as True .com, which also offers screening for married persons. Remember dating is a risk both online and offline, and being on the internet does have an advantage. All you have to do to stop talking to someone is simply click a button. You can ban creeps with the click of a button. Try that in real life! However, still be careful not to give out your trust easily. If you ever do decide to call them, use a calling card or some other service that masks your number. A good tip to suspicious behavior is if they ask for personal information right away. If you feel like meeting them, do it in a very public place and bring a friend or two. Not only is that good for your safety, but you can get an idea of what your friends think of your date.

Lastly, not that you can put a price on love, but you can definitely put one on dating services. The five best dating services are competitively priced, with Match charging for certain premium services and LavaLife running on a credit system, that may require “recharging”, but for the only occasional online dater may last many months. Perfect Match was bumped out of the top five simply because the price is dramatically higher, though PerfectMatch does offer quite possibly the best compatibility matching system available.

Also, once you pick a matchmaking service, remember to log in atleast once a week. Most dating services rank their users by the last time they logged in. Basically, a person who logged in yesterday will rank higher than someone who logged in a month ago. This because the dating services assume the people not logging in have already found someone. So basically if you haven’t logged on in a month, you will be at the end of the list. If you log in more often, you will get many more responses.

So with all that in mind, go on and get out there! Many services such as PerfectMatch and True offer free profiles, and most other services are hardly the price of another dinner date, with another incompatible person. Stop waiting and find your perfect match today!